Pasta Perfection

I have written in the past about my friend Lilly’s adventures in Elder Care Sitting and here is another story. She recently took a new gig with a senor couple who are in their 80’s. A very sweet couple, who adore her and treat her as a daughter. They just need special care in the early mornings and late evenings. They have many friends and a family in the area and seem quite loved by those around them. At night Lilly usually prepares pre made meals for them by the various family members who bring them over putting them in the freezer or fridge depending on the meal. After dinner, she then watches TV with the couple and then puts them to bed and when they are a sleep she goes home.

One evening Lilly pulls out a pre-made meal from the freezer and pops it in the oven. The cooking instructions are written on it so all she has to do is reheat it. This time it was a cheesy pasta dish which she then served with a homemade salad. As they were digging in to eat, the man looked down and exclaimed, ‘Oh this pasta looks like foreskin!” Sheila must of made it!” The old lady said, without blinking an eye, “Yup must be foreskin then!  Lilly looked closely at it, and indeed it kind of did look a bit odd  but she just assumed it was the musings of and old man and woman and did not pursue the conversation, but at this junction of the conversation completely lost her appetite  and instead just ate salad.

A few weeks later Lilly pulled out another frozen pasta dish and served it that night. When it was fully heated through she pulled off the foil cover and put a serving spoon in it and as she did so she looked down into the dish and could swear that the pasta was not your normal looking Penne pasta but in fact looked very phallic like.  She tried to ignore what she was looking at and served it anyway. As Lilly sat down the lady said, “Oh this must be another Sheila dish!” Lilly, this time asked, “What the heck is going on with these pasta dishes!” Well it turns out that Sheila is their practical joker of a granddaughter who loves to play jokes on her grandparents. Apparently she gets this pasta at a sex novelty store and was told to be aware of other food stuff in the future. Lilly decided to pass on the pasta even though the couple gobbled it up and said it was good. She then told me what happened and I said to her, “This would make a great column, so is spelled Penne or Peni?”