CABLE THE GREAT AND POWERFUL

Cable the Great and Powerful!                                                                 3/30/13

I recently went and saw the new “OZ” movie and thought to myself how much dealing with the cable company was similar to this movie, a bunch of smoke and mirrors. About two weeks ago we here in the Santa Cruz Bay area started getting notified via Red Banner across the top of certain TV channels that in order to keep receiving these particular channels, we would have to go down to the Cable office or call an 800 number to have a new digital converter shipped to our homes. To the chagrin of many customers the 800 number then told us to go down to the local cable office anyway and to pick up the converter. When many did so the office then told them that they did not have them yet and said that they would be mailed out. BUT! Before anyone could do anything they turned the channels off. No more History, Sports or Animal Planet, Oh MY!  On Monday, my friend L’N, called me up and asked me to go with her to the Cable office, saying it would just be a few minutes of my time and then she would take me out my favorite coffee house. “Ah coffee, my week spot”. As we drove up to the office we could see that there was a line trailing outside and down the side of the parking lot of about 30 towns people, which I swear were holding pitchforks and torches. I thought I was entering the dark forest.  As we stood there we started hearing about everyone’s yellow brick road experience with the cable company. Standing next to us, one guy was holding all his TV equipment because the day before he picked up his new box and converter and it started smoking and melting when he plugged it in. One lady was in line for the third time because the last two times she had come down to the office, they had run out of converters. Another lady was in line because all her channels went out not just the digital ones. We also found out that if you die, cable will not turn off your service until you present a death certificate. What!? Uhm, so does that mean you can still watch your favorite programing from heaven, or hell? I guess this depends on what reality show you watch. Really, this lady in front of us was standing in line because her father had died and they would not turn off his service until she provided a copy of his death certificate. So there she was holding  all of her paper work, along with that huge cable box, cables and remotes spilling out of her arms. She kept dropping one of the remotes and it kept falling on the foot of the lady in front of her. Finally the third time it happened the lady in front of her said, “Would you Stop it! Don’t drop that again!” I swear she was going to hit her with her remote. I made a joke to ease the tension about having a remote control fight, like dueling light sabers, which in turn got scowling looks. As we were standing there more and more people joined the line. Seniors looking forlorn did not get any sympathy from us. No way! “First come, first serve baby! This is cable great and powerful!” Since everyone was grumbling I found myself getting all worked up into an angry frenzy and now wanted to give the customer service rep a piece of my mind!  But when we got to the front of the line, what I was expecting to find was the wicked witch of the west but instead got Glenda the good witch, well, really his name was Glen. And he was very nice and full of all the right customer service words and assurances that one needs to work in that kind of job. He offered us a six month discount and free converters per TV. Hey, how can you throw water on that one! After leaving there, I started thinking about how cable  had the power to literally bring people to their knees. In this case though there are no ruby slippers at the end of the rainbow. Just Glen giving us our converter box’s and wishing us many happy reruns in TV land, which by the way may cost us more in the future, for he advised us our rates are going up. I swear after we were done he was whisked away in a bubble.  I think I may switch over to Satellite TV except I do not want to deal with the flying monkeys.