Aging in Line At Costco

Aging In Line at Costco   (Part II)                           11/12/11

I became a member of Costco in the late 80’s and sent my parents a complementary secondary card. I knew they would use it more often than me hence my first article part one. About four years ago my dad called me and asked if he could become the primary card holder so he could become an Executive Member. I said, no problem and then I asked him why the Executive Membership? And he said, “So that he could get in before ten am and shop.” But he did not give me a clear reason why he needed to get in so early in the morning.  Then the revelation hit me. It’s a senior’s hang out! It’s their watering hole! Whichever Costco you go to, there are seniors sitting near the food court, conversing, having their hotdogs, donuts and coffee, but of all places why Costco?

So one day last week I am standing about 3^rd in line at the Costco Pharmacy. And I begin thinking. (Yes, very dangerous of me), I am wondering what the average age is of the person who goes to the Costco Pharmacy? As I am drifting in and out of thought provoking territory I realize that on my left side of the isle there are beauty skin products to prevent aging. On the other side of the isle there are displayed diabetic and heart supplies and in front of me, in huge boxes it reads, “Depends for Men, Large size”. Talk about discretion! How do you hide a thing like that at the check stand? So using my deductive reasoning skills, I surmise that the average age must be around fifty years old.  I came to that conclusion because that’s the age that I have begun using some of those products, of course not the depends! The self realization comes to me that I am at the age where this place will soon become my watering hole. Feeling very depressed and sorry for myself, I hear my name being called so I somberly walk up to the clerk and pick up my meds.

As I am passing the Glucosamine Juice testing stand, (Has anyone ever got a buzz from that stuff but me?) I decide I am hungry so I go over to buy lunch at the food court. Hey, you can’t beat $1.50 for a Hot Dog and soft drink. Then it hits me. It so cheap to eat here! That’s why it’s a senior’s hang out! So I sit down next to some grey bears, I mean highly mature folk, and I munch down on my Polish Dog and Root Beer. Some friends of mine, whom are standing in line, see me and come on over with their food stuff and sit down beside me. We catch up on our lives and I begin to suspect that the Costco watering hole isn’t so bad after all. I wonder if I am eligible for my AARP card soon.