Easily Amused

Well, today I created my first Blog. Not very interesting but as time goes by I am sure to post all my columns on here.

Here is one that is new.

Easily Amused.                                                  6/17/11

So I am at the gym that is not number….well you know it by now. I knew this would happen sooner then later and it happened sooner. I am in the dressing room just pulling down my shorts to put on my swim trunks, when in walks the new members club guide who takes potential new members on tour through the club. And low and behold just as I am bending over and my big white butt was in the air I hear, “ and here is our locker room, as you can see not all members take advantage of the stair climber.” Ok that last part was in my head. But to have strange people just wondering through while your in the throws of changing is just mind numbing. “Oh Hi Reverend, no that big bright glow is not the 2^nd coming, just my glaring white butt in the air! So later on I am out at the pool and I hear heavy breathing, with a sucking sound, kind of sounds like Darth Vader. I look over to my left and there is an older guy in the lane next to me who is snorkeling. I thought how strange is that because usually people do this in the ocean. So he swims over to the edge of the pool next to me and I say to him, “So did you see any marine life down there?”  As I am smirking to myself,  he says, oh no, I have to swim this way because I have had three vertebrae fused together and it is the only way I can swim. Now feeling horrified and wondering why didn’t I just keep my big mouth shut, I look over to the other guy in the next lane over who has swum up to the edge. He heard what the snorkeling guy said. He then proceeded to say, well you know what Betty Davis said about getting older. And I say no, what? “It’s not for sissy’s.” I said no its not! It SUCKS! In the mean time I swear I hear the Snorkeling guy say, Luke, I am your father! Join me! As he snorkels away. As you can see I have a very vivid and wild imagination that keeps me very amused all day long.  So has anybody been keeping track of how many times the “Passing Sign” on Mt.Hermon road has been knocked down? It’s the one going west when leaving Scotts Valley toward the old quarry. I counted 4 times now before they put in the stone bumps. It was very amusing to see it down on the ground every other weekend. It has to be from all those tipsy people coming home at two o’clock in the morning from some bar. It does just kind of stands there on its own, in the dark all alone just whistling to itself. It sits right in the middle of the highway where the two lanes divide and I think people just do not see it when they are coming around that curve. And of course it has no common sense to get out of the way.  Whoopsi, another dent in the fender as the sign goes hurtling up in the air! Now that they have put in those stone bumps to protect it I wonder how much tire and alignment damage will be done?