Vita Meta Gummymins
Recently I told a good friend of mine that I felt the need
to start taking a daily vitamin because I was feeling tired. She said oh, you
should take what I take, and she turned me on to her vitamin of choice. Gummy
Vitamins. So we went down to Costco and I bought a huge bottle of Gummy-mins,
for you know they never carry anything small. On the bottle it has pictures of
oranges, berries and hu? A fish? Oh its packed with lots of Omega 3. I hope
there isn’t a salmon tasting one in the bunch. So I read on, “Ok, it has all
the recommended daily allowance of vitamins that I need being a man of my age.
The recommended dosage was two a day”.
Well the other night I was sitting there watching TV when I got my
normal craving for something sweet. I searched the house but there was nothing sugary
and sweet to eat. My tummy said, “What I wouldn’t give right now for a piece of
candy!” The more I watched TV, the more
my sweet tooth grew. I then noticed the bottle of Gummy-mins sitting on my
nightstand and thought to myself, “Self, I forgot to take my vitamins this
morning didn’t I?” So I reached over and grabbed the huge bottle and dished out
two of them and popped them in my mouth. As I chewed them down, I thought, “These
are good, I want more!” So I took two more and chewed them up. The next thing I
knew I had consumed about 10 of them. I thought, “Hey wait, these aren’t candy,
I wonder if I can over dose? I can just see my land lord finding my lifeless
body in front of the TV with a silly grin on my face succumbing to the deliciousness
of the Gummy-mins. I started to worry. “I wonder if I should go throw them up?
Nah, that’s too irrational”. The bottle says do not exceed the recommended
dose. Oh oh, I wonder if I’ll have side effects?” Yes,
folks, there were side effects! Extreme Constipation. Did I say extreme? Put it
this way, I felt like I was giving birth. Not that I know what that is like,
but believe me I do not think my butt cheeks could have spread any further then
they did. I looked down in the tidy bowl and thought, “Is that an orange
gummy-min swimming around doing the back flip? So now when I get my sweet tooth I do not
reach for the Gummymins, but rather the new stash of foil wrapped chocolate
kisses hidden in my drawer. (I have to hide them from the dog) I understand
that they loaded with lots of antioxidants! At least that’s what I have been
told. Hum, I wonder if they have chocolate covered Gummy-mins?
